January 2012
December 2011
“Oh, I’ve definitely gone to a wedding where I looked better than the...”
– Introducing a new feature here on the bloggity-blog: the side-eye generator.
Basically, the overheard comments that result in some classic side-eye moments.
[And for the record, this comment was made by someone who is known to wear see-through attire to client meetings, wears pants with a hole in...
The humanity. Or, 'what we do in honor of our...
Me: "Can I get two Hendrick's and tonics with a splash of cran..."
Waitress, 5 minutes later: "uh, we're out of Hendrick's...how about Tanqueray?"
Me: "I don't care what it is as long as it isn't well, doesn't come from a plastic bottle, and isn't lighter fluid."
“We had some excitement a few weeks ago! I witnessed two squirrels mating! And...”
– Called and caught up with my Grandmother on the drive home from work.
A few years ago during a visit, I noticed she kept glancing out her patio door, commenting on the birds and squirrels in the backyard. So that year, for her birthday/christmas gift, we got her a bird feeder, squirrel feeder, and...
Any ebook designers/developers out there?
One of my clients is publishing a book for which we’re designing the website.
They’ve got the cover designed, but are unhappy with the rate at which the ebook is being designed/laid out/programmed, ultimately coming to me for a recommendation on an alternative company/contact that could take over the job and finish it up post-haste.
And so began my speedy education on the world of...
“Why did I wake up naked on your couch?”
– When your day begins with a pants-less dude stumbling into your bedroom, muttering the above question, you know it’s going to be A Day.
Merry Fucking Christmas to me.
Watchsequinsandsideeye:
I believe the children are the future. Teach them well and LET THEM lead the way.
Also? This makes me hate absolutely everything.
mrsbeaverhausen
1. I do not want to have a daughter because if I ever saw her in a video like this on the internet…bad things, y’all, bad things.
2. I just threw up in my mouth a little.
3. At least she’s got anti-bacterial wipes...
“Hallelujah! Holy shit! Where’s the Tylenol?”
– My NewBoss has NEVER SEEN CHRISTMAS VACATION.
Thereby, he does not understand the importance of the phrase, “shitter was full” or the above quote.
Brb, going to go school him in 80’s Christmas movies pop culture.
Stuck at work while everyone else is off for the... →
…including your clients, leading you to have no motivation to actually be productive/
Yeah, I remember what that was like. Back in the days of yore.
But, if that is what you’re facing, may i suggest expanding your brain by checking out some free online M.I.T. course material?
Schadenfreude.
scha·den·freu·de
[shahd-n-froi-duh]
noun
satisfaction or pleasure felt at someone else’s misfortune.
Not going to even try to lie or hide it: seeing [redacted] get all sorts of butt-hurt over hearing the news that [redacted] may very well be the highlight of my day.
[Redacted] because, well, I’m not quite sure if anyone from NewJob has stumbled upon this.
“Very important question - is this hair gray or blonde?!?”
– Unfortunately, it’s gray.
Hope your Monday is going better than mine.
“Please clean your food out of the fridge…no room for beer”
– Subject line of an all-office e-mail.
At least NewJob has its priorities in order.
The title/theme of our company marker board is...
Me: Hey, we've got [religion-related product-schilling client] coming in this morning. Should I erase the Jesus somebody drew on the marker board?
NewBoss: Eh, I dunno. But I'd definitely erase "gimme all the white womens."
Me: Yeah - that was first to go. I also erased "to be the middle of a human centipede". But about Jesus here - do you think they'd be offended, or think we're ok for having drawn jesus on our markerboard/
NewBoss: I say, if there's any doubt, erase.
“What the hell?!? I don’t even think about vacuum cleaners and now all...”
– I introduced a coworker to the wonderful world of being slightly obsessed with Dyson products.
Six to Eight Black Men →
whatthehale:
elle-oh-elle:
I’m just leaving this here, as I do every year, to remind you that it’s always a good idea to re-read David Sedaris’ “Six to Eight Black Men” around Christmas.
THANK YOU for reminding me of this fabulousness.
Love, always.
Snorting. Out loud. At my desk.
Icy Hot...in MY EYE.
90% of my stress resides in this one knot below neck/right shoulder.
Like, weird tingling sensations. And I can judge my stress level by how tight and tingly that one spot is.
Anyways, I got some of those Icy Hot patches to slap on it during the day, when it’s getting to the point of distraction.
Well, apparently I didn’t wash my hands after I took it off this afternoon, because I...
Nama-stay away? Lululemon puts Ayn Rand quote on... →
At stake was whether the yoga faithful would be able to continue to rock the pricey pants with pride or if wearing Lululemon gear was going to be reclassified as a guilty pleasure. And guilt doesn’t go with yoga any better than outrage does.
