civilized debauchery + calculated risks

"You get dressed like an elf and you know you’re going to have a good day."

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 22:54:42 -0600

“You get dressed like an elf and you know you’re going to have a good day.”

- Sigourney Weaver

Gene Simmons speaks four languages:

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 22:46:00 -0600

English
Hungarian
German
Hebrew

And his birth name is Chaim Witz.

And it is possible that he really has slept with 4,600 women in his lifetime, as that would only (ha, only) be 115/year for the past 40 years.

Via and Esquire

Paradigm Sip n: the historically correct way of drinking a certain liquor.

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 22:23:05 -0600

As in:

Scotch: with a splash of water

American whiskey: on the rocks

Gin: shaken with ice and a little vermouth, strained into a cocktail glass

Rum: with coconut water, rocks

Brandy: at room temperature in a sherry glass (not a snifter)

Tequila: neat

Vodka: with food

Via Esquire

Y’all thought I was kidding about the t-shirt and...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 21:27:10 -0600

Y’all thought I was kidding about the t-shirt and jeans…

"Omigod! If you continue to drive this slow, the crackheads will GET YOU!"

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:48:00 -0600

“Omigod! If you continue to drive this slow, the crackheads will GET YOU!”

- My road rage around 12th and Chicon.

I've got a Christmas party to go to tonight downtown with 100 of my closest girlfriends.

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 17:43:25 -0600

But I do not even feel like getting dressed up. Can i just wear a hanes t-shirt, some jeans, and a pearl necklace?

Announcement

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 14:59:11 -0600

meredithnyc:

lizlemon:

Right now, Meredith and I are having Virtual Clementime, where we eat clementines and talk about it on the internet. I realize this makes us giant nerds, but also awesome. Feel free to join in the fun! After all, clementines are amazing.

*Running to the office fridge to grab a handful of clementines*

Need a Handjob?

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 13:39:48 -0600

Need a Handjob?:

2 for $4.95!

hotterthanapeppersprout: jodilyn: ohheyychrissy: I saw...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 12:50:07 -0600

hotterthanapeppersprout:

jodilyn:

ohheyychrissy:

I saw something similar to this on a JCrew manikin last night and I’m completely obsessed. Determined to make it for MUCH cheaper, though. Except maybe the shoes. I think I’m in love.

If you figure out how to do it for cheaper, please let me know because I am currently obsessed with it as well.

:)

I really love this pink shirt - it could really cute up a cardigan! Not to mention the gold glitter flats.

The shirt will probably be the hardest part…though you may want to check your local J. Crew - we’ve had some of the colors go on sale recently…

lacey: Erin: Is [this pink slip dress] meant to be worn by...

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 11:07:51 -0600

lacey:

Erin: Is [this pink slip dress] meant to be worn by itself?

Erin: or under a much more modest outfit?

Lacey: i hope under something

Lacey: like a scarf

Lacey: or a funky hat

Lacey: maybe a cool necklace

A possible bridesmaid’s dress?

Is it possible to remove a font from your computer?

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 09:58:15 -0600

Perhaps it’s a font that drives you nuts every time you see it. It just sends chills down your spine when it automatically pops up on your screen.

Say, Times New Roman?

"Crimson Tide?” That sounds like what you called your period in the 9th grade."

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 09:32:56 -0600

““Crimson Tide?” That sounds like what you called your period in the 9th grade.”

- Coworker from Alabama is educating me on Bama.

In my defense, I’m from the Big XII. We (typically) don’t care about anyone else.

Serious question, y'all:

Thu, 10 Dec 2009 09:11:08 -0600

Do kids these days still believe in Santa?

I just feel like, when I was a kid, everything was about Santa and what he’d ‘bring’ you. Now, all I see are ads. It’s all about the product, not how you’re supposed to get it. Throw in the Black Friday ads and mom and dad griping about their bills and the recession and how ‘Christmas might be a little smaller this year, Timmy’ and in theory, wouldn’t Santa be recession-proof?

So, really. Do kids still believe in Santa?

why do they have to follow up an amazing Glee with those awful Gap Kids little girls?!

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 23:12:54 -0600

missashleyjheidler:

tlmonahan:

allthingsalishan:

FUCK! they make me want to kill orphans.

You READ my mind. I was all happy at the end of Glee and then BAM! Maggoty little girls. Ooooohhh….I just hate them.

it’s like y’all went into my brain and stole my thoughts. truth.

yep.

allthingsalishan: nb808: Texas Football Coach Mack BrownJUST...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 23:05:41 -0600

allthingsalishan:

nb808:

Texas Football Coach Mack Brown

JUST GOT A TWO MILLION DOLLAR RAISE.

His salary will be $5 MILLION DOLLARS.

Oh, and if my boys manage to beat ‘Bama, then he gets a $500,000 bonus.

I cannot even FATHOM that kind of money…..

Lizzie-

If this dude has sons, you should marry them. I’ll even plan the wedding.

You can thank me later.

If I’m correct, he has two step sons, so I’ll get right on that.

Our kickball game is down wind from a Popeye's.

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 19:14:18 -0600

Must. Have. Biscuits.

Heaven in a bottle. Or, the best $6 I ever spent in that joint.

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 17:46:43 -0600

Heaven in a bottle. Or, the best $6 I ever spent in that joint.

If it weren’t for GPOYW and kickball, I’d never know...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 16:45:07 -0600

If it weren’t for GPOYW and kickball, I’d never know that today is Wednesday.

This pic is almost a year old. I drug my two besties to Girl Talk at Emo’s. I mean, I didn’t literally drag them, but I bought their tickets for them and told them to shut the fuck up and don’t even think about making excuses because you’re going to the damn show and it will change your life and you will love me forever.

Then we went back to the agency they were currently working at and raided the freezer for frozen cookie dough and the cabinets for celebration wine.

Then we had a photobooth session.

And I shouldn’t make this face ever again as it highlights my rarely seen double chin.

(905): I give him blow jobs while he watches sports. How am I not his girlfriend yet??

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 16:31:10 -0600

junglejustine:(via textsfromlastnight)

Ooooh, girlfriend, I feel ya!

nickihebert: scottfriday: themattsmith: lefan: Matt smith...

Wed, 09 Dec 2009 16:14:03 -0600

nickihebert:

scottfriday:

themattsmith:

lefan:

Matt smith and I have matching mixers. -Peanut butter cookies. My kitchen. Right now.

Mixer twins!

weird. that’s the exact (color and all) mixer that z wants. we already have a ton of red kitchenware and she’s been eyeballing this thing for years.

I don’t know about red, but I’ve wanted one of these since I was, like, 2. I’ve always said I would would get married for a Kitchen Aid mixer. On the realz!!!

My roommate has one of these. It’s a pain in the fucking ass. On top of the fact that you have to set aside 5 fucking square feet of your counter space for it. And it’s a bitch to clean.

But still, I’ll be asking for the stainless steel version when (erm, if) I get married.